friend here. Therefore once more, let his honour go which way it will, dear madam.
| Sparkish |
Ay, ay; were it for my honour to marry a woman whose virtue I suspected, and could not trust her in a friend’s hands? |
| Alithea |
Are you not afraid to lose me? |
| Harcourt |
He afraid to lose you, madam! No, no—you may see how the most estimable and most glorious creature in the world is valued by him. Will you not see it? |
| Sparkish |
Right, honest Frank, I have that noble value for her that I cannot be jealous of her. |
| Alithea |
You mistake him. He means, you care not for me, nor who has me. |
| Sparkish |
Lord, madam, I see you are jealous! Will you wrest a poor man’s meaning from his words? |
| Alithea |
You astonish me, sir, with your want of jealousy. |
| Sparkish |
And you make me giddy, madam, with your jealousy and fears, and virtue and honour. ’Gad, I see virtue makes a woman as troublesome as a little reading or learning. |
| Alithea |
Monstrous! |
| Lucy |
Well, to see what easy husbands these women of quality can meet with! a poor chambermaid can never have such ladylike luck. Besides, he’s thrown away upon her. She’ll make no use of her fortune, her blessing, none to a gentleman, for a pure cuckold; for it requires good breeding to be a cuckold. Aside. |
| Alithea |
I tell you then plainly, he pursues me to marry me. |
| Sparkish |
Pshaw! |
| Harcourt |
Come, madam, you see you strive in vain to make him jealous of me. My dear friend is the kindest creature in the world to me. |
| Sparkish |
Poor fellow! |
| Harcourt |
But his kindness only is not enough for me, without your favour, your good opinion, dear madam: ’tis that must perfect my happiness. Good gentleman, he believes all I say: would you would do so! Jealous of me! I would not wrong him nor you for the world. |
| Sparkish |
Look you there. Hear him, hear him, and do not walk away so. Alithea walks carelessly to and fro. |
| Harcourt |
I love you, madam, so— |
| Sparkish |
How’s that? Nay, now you begin to go too far indeed. |
| Harcourt |
So much, I confess, I say, I love you, that I would not have you miserable, and cast yourself away upon so unworthy and inconsiderable a thing as what you see here. Clapping his hand on his breast, points at Sparkish. |
| Sparkish |
No, faith, I believe thou wouldst not: now his meaning is plain; but I knew before thou wouldst not wrong me, nor her. |
| Harcourt |
No, no, Heavens forbid the glory of her sex should fall so low, as into the embraces of such a contemptible wretch, the least of mankind—my friend here—I injure him! Embracing Sparkish. |
| Alithea |
Very well. |
| Sparkish |
No, no, dear friend, I knew it.—Madam, you see he will rather wrong himself than me, in giving himself such names. |
| Alithea |
Do not you understand him yet? |
| Sparkish |
Yes: how modestly he speaks of himself, poor fellow! |
| Alithea |
Methinks he speaks impudently of yourself, since—before yourself too; insomuch that I can no longer suffer his scurrilous abusiveness to you, no more than his love to me. Offers to go. |
| Sparkish |
Nay, nay, madam, pray stay—his love to you! Lord, madam, has he not spoke yet plain enough? |
| Alithea |
Yes, indeed, I should think so. |
| Sparkish |
Well then, by the world, a man can’t speak civilly to a woman now, but presently she says, he makes love to her. Nay, madam, you shall stay, with your pardon, since you have not yet understood him, till he has made an éclaircissement of his love to you, that is, what kind of love it is. Answer to thy catechism, friend; do you love my mistress here? |
| Harcourt |
Yes, I wish she would not doubt it. |
| Sparkish |
But how do you love her? |
| Harcourt |
With all my soul. |
| Alithea |
I thank him, methinks he speaks plain enough now. |
| Sparkish |
To Alithea. You are out still.—But with what kind of love, Harcourt? |
| Harcourt |
With the best and the truest love in the world. |
| Sparkish |
Look you there then, that is with no matrimonial love, I’m sure. |
| Alithea |
How’s that? do you say matrimonial love is not best? |
| Sparkish |
’Gad, I went too far ere I was aware. But speak for thyself, Harcourt, you said you would not wrong me nor her. |
| Harcourt |
No, so, madam, e’en take him for Heaven’s sake. |
| Sparkish |
Look you there, madam. |
| Harcourt |
Who should in all justice be yours, he that loves you most. Claps his hand on his breast. |
| Alithea |
Look you there, Mr. Sparkish, who’s that? |
| Sparkish |
Who should it be?—Go on, Harcourt. |
| Harcourt |
Who loves you more than women titles, or fortune fools. Points at Sparkish. |
| Sparkish |
Look you there, he means me still, for he points at me. |
| Alithea |
Ridiculous! |
| Harcourt |
Who can only match your faith and constancy in love. |
| Sparkish |
Ay. |
| Harcourt |
Who knows, if it be possible, how to value so much beauty and virtue. |
| Sparkish |
Ay. |
| Harcourt |
Whose love can no more be equalled in the world, than that heavenly form of yours. |
| Sparkish |
No. |
| Harcourt |
Who could no more suffer a rival, than your absence, and yet could no more suspect your virtue, than his own constancy in his love to you. |
| Sparkish |
No. |
| Harcourt |
Who, in fine, loves you better than his eyes, that first made him love you. |
| Sparkish |
Ay—Nay, madam, faith, you shan’t go till— |
| Alithea |
Have a care, lest you make me stay too long. |
| Sparkish |
But till he has saluted you; that I may be assured you are friends, after his honest advice and declaration. Come, pray, madam, be friends with him. |
|
Re-enter Pinchwife and Mrs. Pinchwife. |
| Alithea |
You must pardon me, sir, that I am not yet so obedient to you. |
| Pinchwife |
What, invite your wife to kiss men? Monstrous! are you not ashamed? I will never forgive you. |
| Sparkish |
Are you not ashamed, that I should have more confidence in the chastity of your family than you have? You must not teach me, I am a man of honour, sir, though I am frank and free; I am frank, sir— |
| Pinchwife |
Very frank, sir, to share your wife with your friends. |
| Sparkish |
He is an humble, menial friend, such as |