The Merry Wives of Windsor

By William Shakespeare.

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Dramatis Personae

  • Sir John Falstaff

  • Fenton, a young gentleman

  • Shallow, a country justice

  • Slender, cousin to Shallow

  • Ford, a Gentleman dwelling at Windsor

  • Page, a Gentleman dwelling at Windsor

  • William Page, a boy, son to Page

  • Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh parson

  • Doctor Caius, a French physician

  • Host of the Garter Inn

  • Bardolph, Pistol, Nym; followers of Falstaff

  • Robin, page to Falstaff

  • Simple, servant to Slender

  • Rugby, servant to Doctor Caius

  • Mistress Ford

  • Mistress Page

  • Anne Page, her daughter, in love with Fenton

  • Mistress Quickly, servant to Doctor Caius

  • Servants to Page, Ford, etc.

Scene: Windsor and the neighbourhood

The Merry Wives of Windsor

Act I

Scene I

Windsor. Before Page’s house.

Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans.
Justice Shallow Hotly. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
Slender Nodding. In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and “coram.”
Justice Shallow Ay, cousin Slender, and “cust-alorum.”
Slender Ay, and “rato-lorum” too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson, who writes himself “armigero” in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation⁠—“armigero.”
Justice Shallow Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
Slender All his successors, gone before him, hath done’t; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.
Justice Shallow Proudly. It is an old coat.
Sir Hugh Evans The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
Justice Shallow Coldly. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
Slender I may quarter, coz?
Justice Shallow You may, by marrying.
Sir Hugh Evans It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Justice Shallow Not a whit.
Sir Hugh Evans Yes, py’r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compromises between you.
Justice Shallow The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
Sir Hugh Evans It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
Justice Shallow Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Sir Hugh Evans It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
Slender Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
Sir Hugh Evans It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed⁠—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!⁠—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
Justice Shallow Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Sir Hugh Evans Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Justice Shallow I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
Sir Hugh Evans Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
Justice Shallow Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Sir Hugh Evans Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. Knocks. What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
Page Within. Who’s there?
Sir Hugh Evans Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Enter Page.
Page I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.
Justice Shallow Master