understand you have lately had great dealings with my nephew Charles.
| Moses |
Yes, Sir Oliver, I have done all I could for him; but he was ruined before he came to me for assistance. |
| Sir Oliver |
That was unlucky, truly; for you have had no opportunity of showing your talents. |
| Moses |
None at all; I hadn’t the pleasure of knowing his distresses till he was some thousands worse than nothing. |
| Sir Oliver |
Unfortunate, indeed!—But I suppose you have done all in your power for him, honest Moses? |
| Moses |
Yes, he knows that. — This very evening I was to have brought him a gentleman from the city, who does not know him, and will, I believe, advance him some money. |
| Sir Peter |
What—one Charles has never had money from before? |
| Moses |
Yes, Mr. Premium, of Crutched Friars, formerly a broker. |
| Sir Peter |
Egad, Sir Oliver, a thought strikes me!—Charles, you say, does not know Mr. Premium? |
| Moses |
Not at all. |
| Sir Peter |
Now then, Sir Oliver, you may have a better opportunity of satisfying yourself than by an old romancing tale of a poor relation! go with my friend Moses, and represent Premium, and then, I’ll answer for it, you’ll see your nephew in all his glory. |
| Sir Oliver |
Egad, I like this idea better than the other, and I may visit Joseph afterwards as old Stanley. |
| Sir Peter |
True—so you may. |
| Rowley |
Well, this is taking Charles rather at a disadvantage, to be sure. However, Moses, you understand Sir Peter, and will be faithful? |
| Moses |
You may depend upon me. — Looks at his watch. This is near the time I was to have gone. |
| Sir Oliver |
I’ll accompany you as soon as you please, Moses But hold! I have forgot one thing—how the plague shall I be able to pass for a Jew? |
| Moses |
There’s no need—the principal is Christian. |
| Sir Oliver |
Is he? I’m very sorry to hear it. But, then again, an’t I rather too smartly dressed to look like a moneylender? |
| Sir Peter |
Not at all: ’t would not be out of character, if you went in your own carriage—would it, Moses? |
| Moses |
Not in the least. |
| Sir Oliver |
Well, but how must I talk? there’s certainly some cant of usury and mode of treating that I ought to know. |
| Sir Peter |
Oh, there’s not much to learn. The great point, as I take it, is to be exorbitant enough in your demands. Hey, Moses? |
| Moses |
Yes, that’s a very great point. |
| Sir Oliver |
I’ll answer for ’t I’ll not be wanting in that. I’ll ask him eight or ten percent on the loan, at least. |
| Moses |
If you ask him no more than that, you’ll be discovered immediately. |
| Sir Oliver |
Hey!—what the plague—how much then? |
| Moses |
That depends upon the circumstances. If he appears not very anxious for the supply, you should require only forty or fifty percent; but if you find him in great distress, and want the moneys very bad, you may ask double. |
| Sir Peter |
A good honest trade you’re learning, Sir Oliver! |
| Sir Oliver |
Truly, I think so—and not unprofitable. |
| Moses |
Then, you know, you haven’t the moneys yourself, but are forced to borrow them for him of a friend. |
| Sir Oliver |
Oh! I borrow it of a friend, do I? |
| Moses |
And your friend is an unconscionable dog: but you can’t help that. |
| Sir Oliver |
My friend an unconscionable dog, is he? |
| Moses |
Yes, and he himself has not the moneys by him, but is forced to sell stock at a great loss. |
| Sir Oliver |
He is forced to sell stock at a great loss, is he? Well, that’s very kind of him. |
| Sir Peter |
I’faith, Sir Oliver— Mr. Premium, I mean—you’ll soon be master of the trade. But, Moses! would not you have him run out a little against the Annuity Bill? 10 That would be in character, I should think. |
| Moses |
Very much. |
| Rowley |
And lament that a young man now must be at years of discretion before he is suffered to ruin himself. |
| Moses |
Ay, great pity. |
| Sir Peter |
And abuse the public for allowing merit to an act whose only object is to snatch misfortune and imprudence from the rapacious grip of usury, and give the minor a chance of inheriting his estate without being undone by coming into possession. |
| Sir Oliver |
So, so—Moses shall give me farther instructions as we go together. |
| Sir Peter |
You will not have much time, for your nephew lives hard by. |
| Sir Oliver |
Oh, never fear! my tutor appears so able, that though Charles lived in the next street, it must be my own fault if I am not a complete rogue before I turn the corner. |
|
Exit with Moses. |
| Sir Peter |
So, now, I think Sir Oliver will be convinced: you are partial, Rowley, and would have prepared Charles for the other plot. |
| Rowley |
No, upon my word, Sir Peter. |
| Sir Peter |
Well, go bring me this Snake, and I’ll hear what he has to say presently. — I see Maria, and want to speak with her. — |
|
Exit Rowley. |
|
I should be glad to be convinced my suspicions of Lady Teazle and Charles were unjust. I have never yet opened my mind on this subject to my friend Joseph—I am determined I will do it—he will give me his opinion sincerely. |
|
Enter Maria. |
|
So, child, has Mr. Surface returned with you? |
| Maria |
No, sir; he was engaged. |
| Sir Peter |
Well, Maria, do you not reflect, the more you converse with that amiable young man, what return his partiality for you deserves? |
| Maria |
Indeed, Sir Peter, your frequent importunity on this subject distresses me extremely—you compel me to declare that I know no man who has ever paid me a particular attention whom I would not prefer to Mr. Surface. |
| Sir Peter |
So—here’s perverseness!—No, no, Maria, ’tis Charles only whom you would prefer. ’T is evident his vices and follies have won your heart. |
| Maria |
This is unkind, sir. You know I have obeyed you in neither seeing nor corresponding with him: I have heard enough to convince me that he is unworthy my regard. Yet I cannot think it culpable, if, while my understanding severely condemns his vices, my heart suggests some pity for his distresses. |
| Sir Peter |
Well, well, |