a really serious engagement if it hadn’t been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out.
| Algernon |
Crossing to her, and kneeling. What a perfect angel you are, Cecily. |
| Cecily |
You dear romantic boy. He kisses her, she puts her fingers through his hair. I hope your hair curls naturally, does it? |
| Algernon |
Yes, darling, with a little help from others. |
| Cecily |
I am so glad. |
| Algernon |
You’ll never break off our engagement again, Cecily? |
| Cecily |
I don’t think I could break it off now that I have actually met you. Besides, of course, there is the question of your name. |
| Algernon |
Yes, of course. Nervously. |
| Cecily |
You must not laugh at me, darling, but it had always been a girlish dream of mine to love someone whose name was Ernest. Algernon rises, Cecily also. There is something in that name that seems to inspire absolute confidence. I pity any poor married woman whose husband is not called Ernest. |
| Algernon |
But, my dear child, do you mean to say you could not love me if I had some other name? |
| Cecily |
But what name? |
| Algernon |
Oh, any name you like—Algernon—for instance … |
| Cecily |
But I don’t like the name of Algernon. |
| Algernon |
Well, my own dear, sweet, loving little darling, I really can’t see why you should object to the name of Algernon. It is not at all a bad name. In fact, it is rather an aristocratic name. Half of the chaps who get into the Bankruptcy Court are called Algernon. But seriously, Cecily … Moving to her … if my name was Algy, couldn’t you love me? |
| Cecily |
Rising. I might respect you, Ernest, I might admire your character, but I fear that I should not be able to give you my undivided attention. |
| Algernon |
Ahem! Cecily! Picking up hat. Your Rector here is, I suppose, thoroughly experienced in the practice of all the rites and ceremonials of the Church? |
| Cecily |
Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble is a most learned man. He has never written a single book, so you can imagine how much he knows. |
| Algernon |
I must see him at once on a most important christening—I mean on most important business. |
| Cecily |
Oh! |
| Algernon |
I shan’t be away more than half an hour. |
| Cecily |
Considering that we have been engaged since February the 14th, and that I only met you today for the first time, I think it is rather hard that you should leave me for so long a period as half an hour. Couldn’t you make it twenty minutes? |
| Algernon |
I’ll be back in no time. |
|
Kisses her and rushes down the garden. |
| Cecily |
What an impetuous boy he is! I like his hair so much. I must enter his proposal in my diary. |
|
Enter Merriman. |
| Merriman |
A Miss Fairfax has just called to see Mr. Worthing. On very important business, Miss Fairfax states. |
| Cecily |
Isn’t Mr. Worthing in his library? |
| Merriman |
Mr. Worthing went over in the direction of the Rectory some time ago. |
| Cecily |
Pray ask the lady to come out here; Mr. Worthing is sure to be back soon. And you can bring tea. |
| Merriman |
Yes, Miss. Goes out. |
| Cecily |
Miss Fairfax! I suppose one of the many good elderly women who are associated with Uncle Jack in some of his philanthropic work in London. I don’t quite like women who are interested in philanthropic work. I think it is so forward of them. |
|
Enter Merriman. |
| Merriman |
Miss Fairfax. |
|
Enter Gwendolen. |
|
Exit Merriman. |
| Cecily |
Advancing to meet her. Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew. |
| Gwendolen |
Cecily Cardew? Moving to her and shaking hands. What a very sweet name! Something tells me that we are going to be great friends. I like you already more than I can say. My first impressions of people are never wrong. |
| Cecily |
How nice of you to like me so much after we have known each other such a comparatively short time. Pray sit down. |
| Gwendolen |
Still standing up. I may call you Cecily, may I not? |
| Cecily |
With pleasure! |
| Gwendolen |
And you will always call me Gwendolen, won’t you? |
| Cecily |
If you wish. |
| Gwendolen |
Then that is all quite settled, is it not? |
| Cecily |
I hope so. A pause. They both sit down together. |
| Gwendolen |
Perhaps this might be a favourable opportunity for my mentioning who I am. My father is Lord Bracknell. You have never heard of papa, I suppose? |
| Cecily |
I don’t think so. |
| Gwendolen |
Outside the family circle, papa, I am glad to say, is entirely unknown. I think that is quite as it should be. The home seems to me to be the proper sphere for the man. And certainly once a man begins to neglect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not? And I don’t like that. It makes men so very attractive. Cecily, mamma, whose views on education are remarkably strict, has brought me up to be extremely shortsighted; it is part of her system; so do you mind my looking at you through my glasses? |
| Cecily |
Oh! not at all, Gwendolen. I am very fond of being looked at. |
| Gwendolen |
After examining Cecily carefully through a lorgnette. You are here on a short visit, I suppose. |
| Cecily |
Oh no! I live here. |
| Gwendolen |
Severely. Really? Your mother, no doubt, or some female relative of advanced years, resides here also? |
| Cecily |
Oh no! I have no mother, nor, in fact, any relations. |
| Gwendolen |
Indeed? |
| Cecily |
My dear guardian, with the assistance of Miss Prism, has the arduous task of looking after me. |
| Gwendolen |
Your guardian? |
| Cecily |
Yes, I am Mr. Worthing’s ward. |
| Gwendolen |
Oh! It is strange he never mentioned to me that he had a ward. How secretive of him! He grows more interesting hourly. I am not sure, however, that the news inspires me with feelings of unmixed delight. Rising and going to her. I am very fond of you, Cecily; I have liked you ever since I met you! But I am bound to state that now that I know that you are Mr. Worthing’s ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you were—well, just a little older than you seem |