How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Lowndes, Leil. How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes. Page iv p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8092-3211-1 1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title. HQ801.L69 1996 306.7— dc20 CIP 96-14502 Page iii To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with Youoffers 85 techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love. CONTENTS Page v Page vii 11 Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone Science "Discovers" Sex 2 4 How the Techniques Were Developed 5 How I Tested the Techniques 7 29 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements How More Research Was Compiled What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements I. First Impressions 9 II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10 III. Equity 11 IV. Ego 12 V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13 VI. Rx for Sex 14 3 17 The Physical Side of Falling in Love "Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" "Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17 "Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18 "How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19 Page viii 4 23 Where Are All the Good Men and Women? 23 5 25 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places Does Love at First Sight Exist? Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight 6 29 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression First Impressions Last Forever 29 17 First Impressions Last Forever 29 Be Ready for Love—Always! 30 Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32 7 35 How to Ignite Love at First Sight How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37 How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39 How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41 Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42 8 45 Your First Approach The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46 Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49 First Moves That Work for Women 50 9 53 Your First Body Language Let Your Body Do the Talking 53 When You Are Quarry 56 The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57 "But This Is So Basic!" 60 10 61 Your First Conversation Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together Conversatio n Is Like Making Love 62 45 61 Conversatio n Is Like Making Love 62 Conversation Is Like Selling 62 How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65 Page ix 68 Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70 Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71 11 75 Your First Date The Game Begins in Earnest 75 76 "Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77 The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79 Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80 82 First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82 Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84 Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85 87 "I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87 Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love "How Soon Should I Make My Move?" Plant the Seeds of Similarity First-Date Duds Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! 12 93 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World" Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94 13 97 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97 Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98 101 14 105 How to Establish Conscious Similarity The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105 Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113 15 117 How to Establish Complementary Needs "I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117 Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways 16 123 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124 17 127 Step One: Silent Praise "We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" Page x Step One: Silent Praise Let Your Body Do the Praising 127 18 129 Step Two: Empathy "I Can Identify with That!" 129 Lovers Share Intimate Details 131 Lovers Have Private Jokes 133 19 137 Step Three: Admiration "Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These 137 Mushrooms" 20 141 Step Four: The Implied Compliment "You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141 The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142 21 145 Step Five: The Big Guns "You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" "What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146 22 149 Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine "Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149 Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150 151 Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152 When Your Quarry Praises You 153 Have the First Laugh 145 23 155 Keeping the Love Coals Warm "I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155 Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?) 24 161 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162 Wha t Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163 25 167 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love? You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess "Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 167 168 "What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170 26 173 How Important Are Looks? What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174 What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175 "How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176 How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179 27 181 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey Page xi Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey The Look of Money 181 The Sound of Class 182 184 Use Status Words with Status Prey 185 28 Upping Your Ante in Other Assets Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187 Page xii 191 What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 29 189 Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189 Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love After Eden? 30 195 "I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others" "I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196 31
