Heal The Abuse- Recover YourLife By Jason Goodwin M.Ed. For Meghan, whose death explained theneed. (To order hard copies of this book, please visit www.thehealingplacestore.com.) (Please direct questions and comments to: Published by Jason Goodwin M.Ed. atSmashwords Copyright 2010, Jason Goodwin M.Ed. Smashwords Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personalenjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away toother people. If you would like to share this book with anotherperson, please purchase an additional copy for each person. Ifyou’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was notpurchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.comand purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard workof this author. Praise for Jason Goodwin M.Ed. "With you, it feels like the emphasis is onfiguring yourself out. It feels productive." - David V. "The one-on-one's with you help the most.You're great at breaking things down to a grade-school level." - Greg J. "I admire that you're willing to work throughyour problems and life situations." - John Q. "You help me figure things out more. Everytime we talk, it's an inspiration." - Josh H. "This program has given me my life back." -Ben S. "I think Jason is really sincere, and Ibelieve he has my best interests in mind." - Craig W. "These one-on-one's have helped me the most."- Walter B. "I really like you. You're easy to talk to."- Tim E. "I got some insight from Jason about thevictim mentality that I've been in for many years." - Ryan H. "You seem like the kind of person who reallylikes to help people. You're the only person I know who hasthat strong, moral compass. I want to be more like you!" -Chris B. "I wish my sessions with Jason were longer,because an hour just flies by." - Jarret T. "Thank you for making me feel comfortable.You have a really calming energy about you." - Sharon Z. "You've been a breath of fresh air with howmuch you care about your clients and your organizational skills." - Joe B. "I've heard from everyone that you're areally good counselor." - Lynn M. "You're an awesome counselor. That's whyyou're the first person I called." - Phillip L. "I'm just really impressed with Jason. Hereally knows what he's talking about." - David M. "I've heard alot of good things about you." -Lauri P. "I brag about you alot." - Heather F. "I picked you because you're focused. I canhear you thinking. I think you'll be good for my recovery." -Robert C. "At first you hate going to groups and by theend you love going." - Anthony S. "I need to tell Jason what a great groupsession he runs." - Lewis S. "I would change my school hours around to goto Jason's group." - Mike R. "I feel so much better when I get out of thisclass. This class is the high point of my week." - John F. "Keep up the good work, Jason!" - KevinK. "I just want to say, thank you Jason." -Jerry S. "I would like to say that Jason Goodwin hasbeen so instrumental in my progress. He is the only counselor thatI was able to open up to and be 100% honest with. He has theuncanny ability to make you see who you really are without coming inwith an agenda to distort who is at fault for all the poorchoices we make as people. I am forever in his debt." - Dan T. Table of Contents 1. Hope 2. Goals 3. Healing Techniques 4. Chemical Addiction 5. Sexual Addiction 6. Healing Sexual Addiction 7. Dealing With Pain 8. Relapse 9. Self-Sabotage 10. Body Image 11. Beyond Shame & Guilt 12. Depression 13. Grieving 14. The Inner Child 15. Deserving Love 16. Low Self-Esteem 17. High Self-Esteem 18. Powerlessness 19. Fear 20. Control 21. Anger 22. Betrayal 23. Trust 24. Forgiving 25. Values 26. Self-Care 27. Unhealthy Relationships 28. Respect in Relationships 29. Healthy Relationships 30. Staying Healthy Introduction Sexual abuse means being forced to give orreceive unwanted or inappropriate sexual touching, petting,fondling, oral sex, or intercourse. Sexual abuse happens to peopleof all ages, including children, adolescents, teenagers, adults,and the elderly. It occurs within every socioeconomic class andevery religious group. Some perpetrators of sexual abuse have aknown criminal history. Others serve our country in public office.Perpetrators of sexual abuse have included men and women working inthe noblest of professions. Doctors, dentists, lawyers, alcoholics,addicts, neighbors, friends, girlfriends and boyfriends, husbandsand wives, parents, distant relatives, siblings, priests, janitors,teachers, movie-producers, politicians, and total strangers. Thereis no such thing as a stereotypical abuser in terms of profession,socioeconomic class, standing in the community, relation to thesurvivor, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation. Sexual abuse often continues to affect ourlives and relationships long after the abuse has ended. Beingsexually abused is always painful, always destructive to ourself-esteem, and often difficult to heal. If you are reading this book, you mayunderstand the gravity of this issue. For many of us, healing thepain of sexual abuse is a matter of life and death. I am an addictions therapist with a Master’sDegree in Counseling and Human Services. I have worked with addictsin the criminal justice system, as well as DUI and Drug-Courtoffenders. I counsel teenagers and adults who are survivors ofsexual abuse. But my most important qualification inwriting this book is that I was sexually abused myself. For thisreason, I understand these issues on a very personal level. My ownabuse has contributed to the format of this book in some importantways. I have written the main body of each chapter from theperspective of a counselor in recovery. At the end of each chapter,I include journal entries from when I was personally working toheal each issue. There is a place to process whatever feelingscome up for you and write about your own experiences. Most chaptersend with exercises and a section called “stepping stones tohealth.” This last section is designed to help you identify how faryou have come with the issues discussed in each chapter and assistyou in determining which step or steps you may need to take inorder to become healthy. I have also included a “feelings table ofcontents.” This section matches thoughts and feelings commonlyexperienced by survivors of sexual abuse with the chapters wherethose issues are
