Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Acknowledgements CHAPTER ONE - Mr. Monk Gets His Kicks CHAPTER TWO - Mr. Monk and the Unlucky Break CHAPTER THREE - Mr. Monk and the Reunion CHAPTER FOUR - Mr. Monk Can’t Decide CHAPTER FIVE - Mr. Monk’s Assistant Takes a Trip CHAPTER SIX - Mr. Monk’s Assistant Makes a Discovery CHAPTER SEVEN - Mr. Monk Takes the Case CHAPTER EIGHT - Mr. Monk and the Long Drive CHAPTER NINE - Mr. Monk and the Fly CHAPTER TEN - Mr. Monk Had a Little Lamb CHAPTER ELEVEN - Mr. Monk Takes the Case CHAPTER TWELVE - Mr. Monk and the Brooch CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Mr. Monk Finds the Holes CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Mr. Monk Goes Home CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Mr. Monk Takes a Breath CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Mr. Monk Goes to the Beach CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Mr. Monk and the Other Shoe CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - Mr. Monk Goes to Church CHAPTER NINETEEN - Mr. Monk Hears a Confession CHAPTER TWENTY - Mr. Monk Goes to the Orthodontist CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - Mr. Monk and the Autopsy CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Mr. Monk and the Man Who Wasn’t Himself CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - Mr. Monk Tells All CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - Mr. Monk and the Big Arrest CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - Mr. Monk Loses an Assistant CHAPTER TWENTY- SEVEN - Mr. Monk and the Jailbirds CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - Mr. Monk and the Third Summation CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - Mr. Monk and the Happy Ending The Monk Series Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse New American Library Published by New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0745, Auckland, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England First published by New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. First Printing, July 2007 Copyright © 2007 Universal Studios Licensing LLLP. Monk © USA Cable Entertainment LLC. All Rights Reserved REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA Goldberg, Lee, 1962- Mr. Monk and the two assistants/Lee Goldberg. p. cm. eISBN : 978-1-436-23696-6 1. Private investigators—Fiction. 2. Eccentrics and eccentricities—Fiction. 3. Psychics—Fiction. I. Monk (Television program) II. Title. III. Title: Mr. Monk and the two assistants. PS3557.O3577M725 2007 813’.54—dc22 2006102819 Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. PUBLISHER’S NOTE This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. http://us.penguingroup.com To Valerie and Madison, who keep me (relatively) sane ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE I would like to thank Dr. D. P. Lyle, William Rabkin, Pat Tierney, Sarah Bewley, Ivan Van Laningham, Rhys Bowen, Bob Morris, William Tapply, Carol Schmidt, Peggy Burdick, Mark Murphy, Annette Mahon, Mary Ellen Hughes, Alex Brett, Jack Quick, Robert Thompson and Anne Tomlin for their technical assistance on a variety of murderous topics. Any mistakes or factual liberties are my fault and not theirs, though I suppose they could be accused of aiding and abetting my crimes. Special thanks to Kerry Donovan, Gina Maccoby, Stefanie Preston and most of all Andy Breckman, the creator of Adrian Monk, for their incredible support and encouragement. While I try as best I can to stay true to the continuity of the TV series, it’s not always possible, given the long lead time between when my books are written and when they are published. During that period, new episodes may air that contradict details or situations referred to in my books. If you come across any such continuity mismatches, your understanding is appreciated. I would love to hear from you. Stop by www.leegoldberg.comand say hello. Remember to floss twenty times daily. CHAPTER ONE Mr. Monk Gets His Kicks My name is Natalie Teeger. I’m an honest-to-goodness soccer mom and proud of it. My twelve-year-old daughter, Julie, plays defense on the Slammers in the all-girl league. The kids get together at Dolores Park for practices on Saturdays and games on Sundays. On this particular Sunday, my boss, Adrian Monk, the legendary detective, was with us at the game. He was too restless to stay at home. For the past couple days, he’d been investigating the brutal beating death of the reviled E. L. Lancaster, who ran the mortgage division of a San Francisco bank. Lancaster was disliked by just about everyone he’d ever met. He’d even foreclosed on his parents’ home when his father, slipping into senility, missed a couple mortgage payments. I’m not kidding. Lancaster was that lovable. The only clue Monk had to work with was a confusing cluster of overlapping bloody footprints belonging to the
