the first place, I forgot to order any dinner, and my cook, who has always loathed me, thought he’d pay me out before he departed.
| Aubrey |
The beast! |
| Paula |
That’s precisely what I— |
| Aubrey |
No, Paula! |
| Paula |
What I told my maid to call him. What next will you think of me? |
| Aubrey |
Forgive me. You must be starved. |
| Paula |
Eating fruit. I didn’t care. As there was nothing to eat, I sat in my best frock, with my toes on the dining-room fender, and dreamt, oh, such a lovely dinner-party. |
| Aubrey |
Dear lonely little woman! |
| Paula |
It was perfect. I saw you at the end of a very long table, opposite me, and we exchanged sly glances now and again over the flowers. We were host and hostess, Aubrey, and had been married about five years. |
| Aubrey |
Kissing her hand. Five years. |
| Paula |
And on each side of us was the nicest set imaginable—you know, dearest, the sort of men and women that can’t be imitated. |
| Aubrey |
Yes, yes. Eat some more fruit. |
| Paula |
But I haven’t told you the best part of my dream. |
| Aubrey |
Tell me. |
| Paula |
Well, although we had been married only such a few years, I seemed to know by the look on their faces that none of our guests had ever heard anything—anything—anything peculiar about the fascinating hostess. |
| Aubrey |
That’s just how it will be, Paula. The world moves so quickly. That’s just how it will be. |
| Paula |
With a little grimace. I wonder! Glancing at the fire. Ugh! do throw another log on. |
| Aubrey |
Mending the fire. There. But you mustn’t be here long. |
| Paula |
Hospitable wretch! I’ve something important to tell you. No, stay where you are. Turning from him, her face averted. Look here, that was my dream, Aubrey; but the fire went out while I was dozing, and I woke up with a regular fit of the shivers. And the result of it all was that I ran upstairs and scribbled you a letter. |
| Aubrey |
Dear baby! |
| Paula |
Remain where you are. Taking a letter from her pocket. This is it. I’ve given you an account of myself, furnished you with a list of my adventures since I—you know. Weighing the letter in her hand. I wonder if it would go for a penny. Most of it you’re acquainted with; I’ve told you a good deal, haven’t I? |
| Aubrey |
Oh, Paula! |
| Paula |
What I haven’t told you I daresay you’ve heard from others. But in case they’ve omitted anything—the dears—it’s all here. |
| Aubrey |
In Heaven’s name, why must you talk like this tonight? |
| Paula |
It may save discussion by-and-by, don’t you think? Holding out the letter. There you are. |
| Aubrey |
No, dear, no. |
| Paula |
Take it. He takes the letter. Read it through after I’ve gone, and then—read it again, and turn the matter over in your mind finally. And if, even at the very last moment, you feel you—oughtn’t to go to church with me, send a messenger to Pont Street, any time before eleven tomorrow, telling me that you’re afraid, and I—I’ll take the blow. |
| Aubrey |
Why, what—what do you think I am? |
| Paula |
That’s it. It’s because I know you’re such a dear good fellow that I want to save you the chance of ever feeling sorry you married me. I really love you so much, Aubrey, that to save you that I’d rather you treated me as—as the others have done. |
| Aubrey |
Turning from her with a cry. Oh! |
| Paula |
After a slight pause. I suppose I’ve shocked you. I can’t help it if I have. |
|
She sits, with assumed languor and indifference. He turns to her, advances, and kneels by her. |
| Aubrey |
My dearest, you don’t understand me. I—I can’t bear to hear you always talking about—what’s done with. I tell you I’ll never remember it; Paula, can’t you dismiss it? Try. Darling, if we promise each other to forget, to forget, we’re bound to be happy. After all, it’s a mechanical matter; the moment a wretched thought enters your head, you quickly think of something bright—it depends on one’s will. Shall I burn this, dear? Referring to the letter he holds in his hand. Let me, let me! |
| Paula |
With a shrug of the shoulders. I don’t suppose there’s much that’s new to you in it—just as you like. |
|
He goes to the fire and burns the letter. |
| Aubrey |
There’s an end of it. Returning to her. What’s the matter? |
| Paula |
Rising, coldly. Oh, nothing! I’ll go and put my cloak on. |
| Aubrey |
Detaining her. What is the matter? |
| Paula |
Well, I think you might have said, “You’re very generous, Paula,” or at least, “Thank you, dear,” when I offered to set you free. |
| Aubrey |
Catching her in his arms. Ah! |
| Paula |
Ah! ah! Ha, ha! It’s all very well, but you don’t know what it cost me to make such an offer. I do so want to be married. |
| Aubrey |
But you never imagined—? |
| Paula |
Perhaps not. And yet I did think of what I’d do at the end of our acquaintance if you had preferred to behave like the rest. |
|
Taking a flower from her bodice. |
| Aubrey |
Hush! |
| Paula |
Oh, I forgot! |
| Aubrey |
What would you have done when we parted? |
| Paula |
Why, killed myself. |
| Aubrey |
Paula, dear! |
| Paula |
It’s true. Putting the flower in his buttonhole. Do you know I feel certain I should make away with myself if anything serious happened to me. |
| Aubrey |
Anything serious! What, has nothing ever been serious to you, Paula? |
| Paula |
Not lately; not since a long while ago. I made up my mind then to have done with taking things seriously. If I hadn’t, I—However, we won’t talk about that. |
| Aubrey |
But now, now, life will be different to you, won’t it—quite different? Eh, dear? |
| Paula |
Oh yes, now. Only, Aubrey, mind you keep me always happy. |
| Aubrey |
I will try to. |
| Paula |
I know I couldn’t swallow a second big dose of misery. I know that if ever I felt wretched again—truly wretched—I should take a leaf out of Connie Tirlemont’s book. You remember? They found her—With a look of horror. |
| Aubrey |
For God’s sake, |